No man knows how bad he is till he has tried very hard to be good…Only those who try to resist temptation know how strong it is.

~C.S. Lewis

This past weekend the boys and I had the chance to honor Gina for Mother’s Day. This was her 5th Mother’s Day, and we wanted to make it a good one. This involved several different trips to several different stores so we find just the right mix of presents for her. We had a lot of fun doing this, but it was even more fun watching Mommy open her presents. We also had a lot of fun cooking for her over the weekend. We made strawberry waffles for breakfast on Sunday, and we put a roast in the crock pot for lunch, both of which are two of Mommy’s favorites.

The best part of Mother’s Day is that we get to show Gina how much we love her. She is a wonderful mother to Sam and Nate, and I am blessed to share this adventure with her. She balances a lot, but you would never know it when she walks in the door every afternoon. She’s always eager to sit down with the boys and play whatever they are playing, or read a book, or go to the park, or whatever. We’re grateful for the example she is for all of us, how God uses her in so many ways in the lives of others. As God continues to stretch us and grow us into the family He wants us to be, we are thankful for days like this when we can stop and thank God for Gina and all that she means to us.

A saint’s life is in the hands of God like a bow and arrow in the hands of an archer. God is aiming at something the saint cannot see, but our Lord continues to stretch and strain, and every once in a while the saint says, “I can’t take any more.” Yet God pays no attention; He goes on stretching until His purpose is in sight, and then He lets the arrow fly. Entrust yourself to God’s hands.

~Oswald Chambers

Well, the Spring 2012 edition of soccer is over, and I am pleased to report it was a great success. I am also glad to report that this experience helped me redefine how I view success. Soccer took some getting used to for both boys, and they still have a lot to learn. I would love for them both become lifelong soccer fans like I am, but I am OK with it if they don’t. More than anything, I found out that kiddie soccer is as much about teaching the parents as it is helping the kids learn the game. Here are some of the lessons I learned from watching Sam and Nate play soccer:

1. Stay in the game: This was harder than I thought it would be, but the most important thing I could encourage Sam and Nate to do was to stay in the game. Not to come off the field when they got bored or tired or frustrated. Stay in the game and try your hardest until the coach tells you to take a rest. We could all use reminders on this lesson from time to time. Such as when I post to my blog instead of grading final projects.
2. Sometimes you can make things happen, and other times you have to just watch them happen: This was the biggest lesson for me. No amount of cheering and encouraging and coaching was going to make Sam and Nate be more aggressive, kick harder or run faster. My job was to let them play in their own style, even that involved running laps around the other players, and praise them for doing their best. If they decide they love this game and want to get better, then I will start coaching them more. For now, they still think running is fun and if they get to kick the ball, it’s a bonus.
3. There is value in the experience: I don’t know how much the soccer skills improved for both boys, but I view the entire experience of playing organized soccer to be extremely valuable. They got to meet new friends, get a lot of exercise, learn to take instructions from a coach, play by a set of rules, wear the team uniform and compete with other kids who want to kick the ball as much as the boys do.
4. No matter how well you play, you get a snack and juice box: Not to mention a trophy at the end of the season. This was by far the best part of the game for both boys. Knowing they would get a treat after game gave them just enough motivation to push themselves a little harder. Actually, that’s not how it worked at all. It’s nice to know that there are some things in life that don’t depend on performance. You get them just because. Love, acceptance, respect and encouragement also fit into this category.

So, there you have it … Soccer 2012. I’m glad we did it, I hope we do it again, and more than anything I want the boys to find something they love to do and reach outside themselves to pursue it with their whole heart.

In order to avoid embarrassment from our kids, we develop strategies for keeping them in line when nothing less than our identity as parents is at stake. These strategies can take on many different forms, and you will likely use more than one during any given event. If you are a parent whose child is between the ages of not-yet-conceived to almost-crawling, you may want to take notes. I know you look at parents like me and swear your children will never act like mine sometimes do, but trust me, they will. And when they do, you may not be able to find this blog. Here are some of the most popular defensive schemes used by parents today, and most of use a variety of these strategies at any given moment.

Double Team

This tactic is mainly used by parents who only have one child. Oh, you 2-on-1 parents, who think you have it all figured out. I can see your smug little smiles when you go to a restaurant. One parent eats dinner while the other one walks around with the toddler, listening to everyone tell you how adorable your child is. You think you were made for this thing called parenting. So you decide, since you are so awesome at redirecting one child, you might as well have another one. How hard can it be, right? Go ahead, try it. See what happens.

Man-on-Man

This is probably more like what most of you experience on a daily basis. Two kids, two parents. There are those times when one parent isn’t there, but most of your big events involve the parents switching off between children, one holding the baby while the other chases the toddler. Then, in a coordinated motion that came straight from the synchronized swimming textbook, you make the switch so one parent can rest her arms while the other rests his legs. It’s poetry in motion. By the way, you “it’s not a leash, it’s a backpack with a long handle” parents don’t count. I don’t even have a category for you. Cheaters.

Zone

Any time parents are outnumbered by the children, you must move into a Zone defense. This strategy requires, by far, the most skill. Don’t you dare try this for the first time at the State Fair or atop the Empire State Building or along the railing at Niagara Falls. For this strategy, you must start small and work your way up to a larger venue. Try taking both kids to the mailbox, and if you make it back inside with both children within your line of vision, you pass. If not, you must practice at the mailbox for 7 days straight. Once you have had 4 successful trips the mailbox, you may move up to … wait a minute … I lost my kid.

Prevent

The proper pronunciation for this defensive scheme is PRE-vent. Don’t ask me why, but it probably has something to do with the percentage of football players who were English majors. We have all tried this one, and don’t try to convince me it worked. Anytime you bribe, promise, or strike any kind of deal with your child prior to entering any type of public setting, you are attempting the Prevent defense. Oh, it prevents alright. It prevents you from leaving that public place with any dignity whatsoever. No prize, or idle threat for that matter, can compete with the instant gratification that comes from covering 10,000 square feet in 7.2 seconds. Nothing. Save your stickers and candy for Halloween, and avoid this strategy at all costs.

Full Court Press

Got a stroller? Use it. Car seat? Strap ‘em in. There are times when every parent, no matter how patient or skilled, needs to use the Shutdown defense. We all know the Meltdown all too well, and sometimes it’s best for everyone that you take control of the situation. Just don’t forget that your child is in the stroller or the car seat. This is a strategy, not a vacation. Remember, this same child who is screaming words you didn’t think she heard you say will one day choose your nursing home.

The Duggar

This strategy is also known as Train-the-Trainer, or the Special Forces. If you survive every other stage of parenting, and if your children have listened to even 8% of what you have been telling them for years, you can begin to trust them with their younger siblings. You can pick these parents out from a mile off. No, it’s not because they migrate in herds. Their smile is glowing like the International Space Station because they actually got to finish their meal. They can describe what coffee actually tastes like because they didn’t guzzle it between making breakfast and packing lunches. They have 63 scrapbooks in their family room, and they just gave you a handmade quilt as gift, and it’s not even a holiday. They actually read a book … during the day. Yes, if you make it to the hallowed ground of Duggarville, you are no longer just a parent. You are a CEO, and your home is your Fortune 500. Ironically, that’s about how many kids you need to have to pull this off. And what is your reward for this accomplishment? You get to buy a fleet of 15-passenger vans. Don’t worry though, your older children will drive them as you sit back and update your Facebook status for the 14th time that hour. We’ll all be reading, and we stand in awe.

Daddy, I have 3 knees. This knee, that knee, and my hiney!

~Nate Alexander, age 4

My only question is, where would my innocent child learn such potty humor? Any guesses? Anyone?

I believe God made me for a purpose, but He also made me fast. And when I run I feel His pleasure.

~Eric Liddell, Chariots of Fire

God made you fast, Daddy. But He made me just a little bit faster.

~Sam Alexander, age 4

I liked having lunch with you, Daddy. I like talking to you, just like you and Mommy talk.

That is awesome on so many levels.

A life of faith is not a life of one glorious mountaintop experience after another, like soaring on eagles’ wings, but is a life of day-in and day-out consistency; a life of walking without fainting (see Isaiah 40:31). It is not even a question of the holiness of sanctification, but of something which comes much farther down the road. It is a faith that has been tried and proved and has withstood the test. Abraham is not a type or an example of the holiness of sanctification, but a type of the life of faith—a faith, tested and true, built on the true God. “Abraham believed God. . .” (Romans 4:3).

~Oswald Chambers

Saturday: I took the boys to the Fort Worth Museum of Science and History. There was a an exhibit on Grossology that they wanted to show me. It was pretty funny, and I was not nearly as grossed out as I thought I might be. We also got to see a cool 3D movie, and I ran into an old friend from FBC Euless. It was a great start to the spring break.

Monday: My class at UNT was online this week, so I stayed with the boys all day. We spent the morning at Firestone having the tire on Gina’s tire fixed. While we waited, we went next door to Whataburger and ate lunch. This was the boys’ first experience with waiting at an auto care place, and I think they did pretty well. We came home and took a nap, then we spent the rest of the day playing at home and being silly.

Tuesday: I had agreed several weeks ago to teach a class for a colleague, not knowing that this week overlapped with the boys’ spring break. Gina teaches her class on Tuesday, so I knew she couldn’t watch the boys. So, Sam and Nate got their first taste of college when they came with me to class. I have brought them to UNT before, and they did pretty well, so I thought I had a pretty good plan going in. I found out pretty quickly that there is a difference between a handful of faculty having a meeting and a room full of college students doing a noisy activity. The boys wanted to be right in the middle of the action, and they didn’t think twice about interrupting me while I was addressing the class. After several awkward pauses, and me trying to gather my thoughts, they settled down and the day ended pretty well. We got to cap it off with a trip to McDonald’s with Gerald and a couple of his doc students. The boys slept all the way home, and we spent the rest of the day on the playground across the street.

Wednesday: I had a very important meeting on this day (more on that in a future post), so Gina took the boys with her to the Amon Carter Museum of American Art and the Fort Worth Nature Center and Refuge. They had a great time doing some art activities with the visiting artist, John Singer Sargent. Of course, this was not the real artist, who died in 1925, but it must have been an actor or something. I didn’t actually get the details from Gina or the boys. Anyway, they came home in the afternoon, and we spent the rest of the day at the house and on the playground.

Thursday: I had another class to teach at UNT for the same colleague, so the boys got a chance to redeem themselves in another college class. Having gained some wisdom from two days earlier, I took a different approach. Rather than plopping them in front of the same movie, I let them each watch different shows on two different devices. Yes, I know, go ahead and judge me. Oddly, both boys wanted to watch what the students were doing (building windmills out of paper and sticks), and they interacted much better. They got to munch on some of the Tootsie Rolls from the activity, and when all of the students left I put a movie on the big screen while I cleaned the room. They loved that, and we got some funny looks as students walked by (the room is all glass). We headed back to Fort Worth and met my parents and MawMaw at their hotel for a quick swim and dinner. They were passing through town on the way back to Casper. As Sam pointed out, this was their first swim as 4-year olds. They seemed to do a lot better and were able to paddle themselves all around the pool. We came to our house for dessert after dinner, then everyone crashed for the night. It had been a busy day, and everyone was spent.

Friday: It was just the boys and I again, and I wanted to do something special for the end of spring break. Because the weather was so nice, we went to the Fort Worth Zoo. The last time we went, it was so blasted hot we could barely breathe. This time, the temps were perfect, but there were about a million people there. I think everyone else had the same idea as me. The crowds didn’t stop us from having a great time, and we got to see just about every exhibit. The boys loved seeing the gorilla and the snakes the most. I was a bit partial to the red wolves and the mountain lion. You can take the Poke out of Wyoming, but you can’t take Wyoming out of the Poke. We ended the day with a train ride and a nap in the car on the say home.

Saturday: We spent the day at Uncle Tommy and Aunt Carol’s house playing with cousins, eating, watching basketball and relaxing. It was a perfect way to celebrate St. Patrick’s Day. I was hoping for a few more upsets in the tournament, but alas, order seems to have been restored. The boys especially liked dancing to the Zumba game on the XBox 360 Kinect. I even tried my hand at it, and all I can say is, thank goodness there were no video cameras in the room (that I know of).

So, that is our week in a nutshell. Sundays were our official day of rest, which is why I have omitted them. Now the boys are back at school and I am trying to catch up on my work. Which is why I’m blogging.